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We’ve aggregated 36 of duffelblog.com’s headlines and news stories over the past 3 months.

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Top duffelblog.com News

Hegseth Won’t Explain Gifted Plane From Qatar

Pete Hegseth · Qatar

Hegseth Won’t Explain Gifted Plane From Qatar

34% Center coverage: 12 sources

“Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth on Wednesday resisted lawmakers’ demands for transparency about the luxury airplane from Qatar that President Donald Trump wants to use as Air Force One, rebuffing several sharp questions about the Boeing 747-8 jetliner and the terms surrounding its transfer to the U.S. government,” the Washington Post reports.See the Story

After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed

Military · Honolulu

After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

HONOLULU — The commander of U.S. Indo-Pacific Command has begun hiding AGM-114 Hellfire missiles, Mk84 Joint Direct Attack Munitions, 20 millimeter Vulcan rounds, HIMARS rockets, and other munitions under his bed in the wake of Israel’s attack on Iranian nuclear facilities, sources confirmed today.Share“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Navy Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”The admiral — who staf…Read Article

Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler

Fort Irwin · Fort Irwin

Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

Army insists it’s “a completely different Hitler,” citing strong Union loyalty and bratwurst recipes.Read Article

Elon Musk awarded Bronze Star for accomplishing nothing

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Air Force awarded Elon Musk the Bronze Star this week for “exceptional service in theoretical cost-cutting and performative patriotism,” despite the tech mogul accomplishing nothing of measurable value during his six-month tenure as Director of Government Efficiency (DOGE).ShareThe award, typically reserved for acts of heroism or meritorious achievement in a combat zone, was pinned to Musk’s Patagonia vest during a closed-d…Elon Musk · Washington Read Article

Taliban to probe allegations of fair treatment of women

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

KABUL — The Taliban has opened an official probe into allegations that women are being treated fairly within one of its Tax Collection units. The investigation was initiated with a plea to the International Criminal Court to examine "crimes against our humanity.” ShareAccording to a report filed by the Department of Taliban Internal Affairs Investigation and Oversight Agency For Inequality of Equality, the investigation began after a Data Analys…Taliban · Afghanistan Read Article

US 'Far Behind in Capabilities' Being Sold by Retired General

Coverage: 2 sources

TYSONS CORNER, Va. — Perched on the highest floor of a 31-story building and eating a sumptuous lunch provided by in-house chefs at AeroTechDyne Headquarters, retired Army Gen. Anthony Wayne told assembled generals from each of the services today that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by AeroTechDyne.Share“Look, I come from the same place as the rest of you and I would never advocate for thi…See the Story

Neuralink placed in Marine crashes Pornhub

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — In a groundbreaking yet predictable mishap that literally everyone saw coming, a Marine volunteer equipped with Elon Musk’s Neuralink has reportedly crashed Pornhub’s servers, causing an unprecedented digital blackout and a surge of confusion among users worldwide.ShareSgt. James Johnson, who volunteered for the Neuralink trial as part of a DARPA initiative to create “super soldiers with enhanced cognitive capabilities,”…Neuralink · California Read Article

Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

THE PENTAGON — The U.S. Army announced today the long-awaited results of a years-long research study, and the findings are abundantly clear: Soldiers’ penises are, on average, about three inches larger than those of sailors in the U.S. Navy.The unusual study was commissioned by the Army Chief of Staff, in partnership with the Chief of Naval Operations, after the Joint Chiefs of Staff got into a naughty bottle of Pinot Noir while at their annual …California, United States · California Read Article

California bans veteran burials due to unacceptable levels of PFAS

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

NAPA VALLEY, Calif. — Citing unacceptable levels of the “forever chemical” PFAS in their bodies, California Governor Gavin Newsom formally amended the state’s environmental policy today to prohibit burials at Veterans Administration cemeteries throughout the state.Share“While the military will assuredly go on destroying the world in life, the Golden State will not allow them to do so in death,” Newsom said during a signing ceremony at The French…Gavin Newsom · Napa County Read Article

Zyn-Monster-condom pack sells out in minutes at PX

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

FORT LIBERTY (OR WHATEVER THEY’RE CALLING IT NOW) — Chaos erupted at the Post Exchange this morning when the highly anticipated “Weekend Essentials” bundle — containing a can of Zyn nicotine pouches, a Monster energy drink, and a single condom — sold out within less than 10 minutes.ShareAccording to eyewitness reports, a mob of junior-enlisted personnel, mostly specialists, formed outside the PX an hour before opening, eagerly awaiting their cha…North Carolina · North Carolina Read Article

Combat Vet Joins War on Drugs

Coverage: 2 sources

ST. LOUIS — In an inspiring display of patriotic fervor, a local combat veteran has announced his eagerness to reenlist to fight in the War on Drugs, taking a firm stance not against, but in support of drug use. Jared Doherty, who served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, now sees the battle for cannabis legalization as his new front line. Share"After years of dodging IEDs, navigating the bureaucratic minefield of the VA for pain management…Marijuana · Mahnomen See the Story

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