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I Hate My Boyfriend, but We Met in Real Life Instead of Online, So I Have to Marry Him

Summary by McSweeney's Internet Tendency
My boyfriend and I met at a party hosted by a friend of a friend of mine and a friend of a friend of his. This is an anthropological event, an epochal miracle. He seemed like the kind of guy who would be on my Hinge Standouts (chiseled scruffy jaw, lean, “Greatest strength: Making reservations”), so I approached him. It was difficult to figure him out—was he in a relationship? Gay? Moderate? A smoker? Didn’t want kids? Looking for something shor…
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McSweeney's Internet Tendency broke the news in on Tuesday, June 3, 2025.
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