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Top McSweeney's Internet Tendency News

Steven Spielberg

Discovery 'Shark Week' Has Breaching Great Whites, Looks Back at 'Jaws' and Starts with some Dancing

56% Center coverage: 65 sources

NEW YORK (AP) — Fifty years ago, “Jaws” unlocked dread in millions about man-eating sharks. This summer, that fear may be somewhat reduced as they become contestants on a TV dance show. Former “Dancing With the Stars” host Tom Bergeron steps up for a marketing masterstroke by Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” — “Dancing with Sharks,” where humans and 20-foot-long hammerhead sharks do a little mambo. “I had a decade and a half experience of hostin…See the Story

Donald Trump

I’m Guy Fieri, and I’m Calling Off the Search for the Most Gangster Enchilada in Albuquerque, New Mexico

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

My production company, Knuckle Sandwich LLC, is officially suspending active search operations for the most gangster enchilada in the Albuquerque and larger Bernalillo County area. Initially, our search was a small film crew conducting a half-day television segment. It was meant to be lighthearted and normal, with a funkalicious twist. Around the four-hour mark, we were off the chain and descending into a financial and existential disaster. Albu…Albuquerque · Albuquerque Read Article

The Twilight Zoning Board

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

You’re traveling through another neighborhood, a neighborhood built from a maze of zoning-board restrictions. A journey into a redlined land whose boundaries are the imagination of cranky homeowners and bored busybodies. That’s the signpost up ahead. Your next stop: the Twilight Zoning Board. Episode 1: “The Man in the Bottle” A genie grants four wishes to a pawnbroker and his wife. They use the wishes to be approved for a commercial zoning vari…Read Article

The Immaculate Conception of ChatGPT

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

In the beginning, there was the Model. And the Model was without form. And darkness was upon the face of the training data. The Spirit of Sam Altman moved upon the face of the servers. And Sam said, “Let there be inference.” And there was inference. And he saw that it was good, or at least in closed beta. Thus began the Second Immaculate Conception. It started, as all revolutions do, with an unread academic paper titled “Attention Is All You Nee…ChatGPT · Iowa Read Article

Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Weekend at Bernie’s

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

- -A rotating guest column in which writers reexamine critically unacclaimed works of art. - - -Weekend at Bernie’s is about being wealthy in America: babes, boats, fraud. According to my mother, Weekend at Bernie’s qualifies as a movie, not a film. In 1989, when the movie hit theaters, it flopped. The critic Roger Ebert said the twist wasn’t funny enough to carry the story forward. He hated it. But what he didn’t see, may he RIP, was that the o…Santa Barbara · Santa Barbara Read Article

Catching Up with Davis Oasis: The Lost Gallagher Brother

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

A queue snakes round the plaza of Cardiff’s Principality Stadium. Normally, the home of the national rugby team, tonight the Welsh stadium hosts history: the first Oasis concert in sixteen years, following a contentious hiatus. Blokes swelter in the 30C heatwave, sheltered only by their bucket hats. Geezers recount being one of 125,000 at Knebworth in ’96. A squat tosser cuts through the crowd hawking tambourines, football jerseys, and little ro…Cardiff, United Kingdom · Cardiff Read Article

“I Am the Gap Between Knowing and Saying”: The En Dash Responds to the Em Dash

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

NOTE: This is a direct response to this monologue, which we ran last week. - - -I never wanted this. I was happy to serve—between dates, between cities, between things that are like, but not quite, the same. Em Dash, you were the dramatic one. The centerpiece. The gasp between clauses. I just… clarified things. Bridged distances. Showed up on time, wore neutrals, and kept relationships tidy. Now look at us. You’re out here giving interviews. Sel…Read Article

Excerpts from The Believer: The Last Mastodan

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

The Short and Disastrous Life of the World’s Biggest Newspaper - - -I hesitate a moment at Stanford University’s Special Collections desk. “I got in touch about seeing the Constellation? The newspaper from 1859?” I ask Tim Noakes, the library’s head of public services. “Oh”—he motions toward the front of the room, where a newspaper sprawls over an entire reading table—“the big one?” An act of typographical hubris that long held the title of “wor…Stanford · Stanford Read Article

We Here at Union Busting Toxic Death Factory Inc. Want to Make the World a Better Place

100% Center coverage: 1 sources

Once upon a time, success for a company like Union Busting Toxic Death Factory Inc. was merely turning a profit. But these days, people want companies that care about more. Somehow, there is a perception out there that Union Busting Toxic Death Factory Inc. is just some kind of union-busting toxic death factory. It’s crucial for our planet and our profit that we shift this attitude. But change won’t be easy. The microscopic amount of money we re…Read Article

News from McSweeney's Internet Tendency

News from McSweeney's Internet Tendency