Psychology says people who can’t accept a favor without immediately thinking about how to repay the debt aren’t being gracious — researchers call it indebtedness aversion, and it quietly keeps them from ever feeling cared for

Psychology says people who can’t accept a favor without immediately thinking about how to repay the debt aren’t being gracious — researchers call it indebtedness aversion, and it quietly keeps them from ever feeling cared for

You drop off soup when they have the flu. You drive them to the airport so they don’t have to take public transport. You watch their dog for a weekend. And before you’ve finished the favor, it’s started: What can I do for you? Let me at least give you gas money. Send me the receipt. You have to let me take you to dinner, I’m serious, name a date. Everyone reads this as good manners. What a gracious person, you think. So thoughtful. Nobody wants …