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Itinerary of a Parent Chaperoning a Field Trip, as Imagined by Their Middle Schooler

Summary by McSweeney's Internet Tendency
6:30 a.m. I awaken from sleep with the unparalleled energy of someone who has an entire school-sanctioned day to humiliate their offspring. 6:55 a.m. Peering into my closet, I select the skinniest jeans I own—seriously, I haven’t worn these since before my preteen was born. No matter. I squeeze my unforgiving middle-aged body into them while double-checking that I still have the breathing capacity for yelling at middle schoolers every ten second…
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McSweeney's Internet Tendency broke the news in on Friday, May 30, 2025.
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