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Thrift Store Sees Huge Surge in Donations Thanks to Tomorrow’s Rapture

ALTONA, MB The local thrift store got a huge influx of margarine containers, old license plates, and Clorox bottles this week after local man, Dave Klassen, donated literally everything he owned. “The Internet says the Rapture’s happening Tuesday,” said Klassen. “Might as well help out the MCC while I can.” Klassen was concerned that if he didn’t donate this stuff now, his relatives might bring it over to the Salvation Army store or something. “…
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[SATIRE] The Unger Review broke the news in on Tuesday, September 23, 2025.
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