Dear Abby: Devastated Parent Wants to Avoid ‘Trauma Dumping’ when People Ask How They’ve Been
After six months of mourning, the family resumes daily routines while coping with ongoing grief and social challenges, marking a cautious step toward healing.
- Six months ago, our family lost the oldest child in a car accident, and now the children have returned to school while the parent resumes work.
- After a utilities dispute, Levi, 23, told Alex and his grandmother he wants no contact and has ignored their messages.
- Dear Abby recommends a brief honest reply: `We've been through some trials and tribulations, but we're moving forward.` To limit probing, use `I'd rather not go into detail right now` and avoid `trauma dumping`.
- I'm encountering many people unaware of the tragedy, and I want to be honest that I'm not really OK; Alex, the father, suffers physical and mental health issues due to estrangement from Levi.
- Dear Abby advises stopping repeated outreach to avoid rejection, noting Levi may reconnect with the family when he grows or needs something, Abigail Van Buren wrote.
21 Articles
21 Articles
Dear Abby: How do I talk to well-meaning people after the death of my child?
DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my oldest child died in a horrific car accident. Our family went into a sort of hibernation for several months, mourning and trying to deal with the sadness of the situation. Now the kids are back in school, and I’m starting to work again. I’m interacting with a lot of people I haven’t seen since before the accident who maybe don’t know what happened. How do I respond when they ask perfectly reasonable questions, like…

Dear Abby: Family reenters school and workplace after tragedy
Now the kids are back in school, and I'm starting to work again.
Dear Abby: I lost my child — how do I handle everyday conversations now?
Dear Abby: Six months ago, my oldest child died in a horrific car accident. Our family went into a sort of hibernation for several months, mourning and trying to deal with the sadness of the situation.
Dear Abby: Devastated parent wants to avoid ‘trauma dumping’ when people ask how they’ve been
DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my oldest child died in a horrific car accident. Our family went into a sort of hibernation for several months, mourning and trying to deal with the sadness of the situation.
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