The first time Pattie Gonia saw a drag show, she could hardly imagine joining the performers onstage. In college in Lincoln, Nebraska, she watched queens at what she described as her hometown’s only gay bar. Their confidence stayed with her. So did the thought it provoked: “I could never give myself that much freedom or that permission.”She eventually did. But freedom, she has learned, can unsettle other people.“When I came out of the closet, a …