US EditionWife Deploys Tactical Rib Jab in Final Attempt to End Husband’s Snoring
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Wife Deploys Tactical Rib Jab in Final Attempt to End Husband’s Snoring
MONROE, OR — In the early hours of Wednesday morning, local woman Emily Patterson reportedly launched what experts are calling a "precision-targeted rib jab" into the soft flank of her peacefully unconscious husband, Greg, in a final, desperate effort to end what has been described by neighbors as a “low-frequency death rattle.” According to sources within the Patterson household, the snoring began around 11:42 p.m. and quickly escalated to a de…
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