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Breaking: The Colonel Would Like To Take You As His Bride

Summary by [SATIRE] The Onion
HARPERS FERRY, WV—Emphasizing that he had seen you whilst on horseback and was most taken with your dazzling beauty, sources confirmed Tuesday that the honorable Colonel Westwood of the 10th Brigade would like to take you as his bride. “The Colonel, with all due respect to the man of the household, would be the utmost…Read more...
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Bias Distribution

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