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BIZARRE: NIU should raise tuition ASAP

Summary by Northern Star
Editor’s note: This column is entirely satire. All opinions are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Tuition at NIU is currently low-balling at $13,792, which is unacceptable. Why are we only charging 1,379,200 pennies for a school that is worth at least 6.022 x 10²³ quarters? I mean mol-ionaires should pay their fair share. This 756-acre school is worth much more. Look at NYU – that prestigious Ivy League charges $60,000+ and it’s onl…
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Northern Star broke the news in on Wednesday, April 1, 2026.
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