US EditionAsking Eric: Friends only want to socialize outside, not at home
The friends prefer trekking outdoors and show reluctance to stay at the holiday home, possibly due to comfort and travel concerns, according to the letter-writer's observations.
- A writer frequently enjoys trekking with two friends, yet noticed their replies to invitations to the writer's holiday home remain muted or passive, suggesting the friends prefer trekking activities over staying elsewhere.
- Friends may feel most comfortable trekking or simply dislike staying at other people's homes; the two-hour drive required to reach the holiday home may also be a significant deterrent.
- One friend suggests the writer should be more specific about dates to clarify intentions, while another perspective argues it is not up to the invited to seek clarification on dates.
- Columnist Eric Thomas recommends a no-pressure conversation about the friendship, as it is possible the friends would prefer to keep the relationship trek-only rather than expand it.
- Ultimately, the writer does not have to continue putting themselves in a position where generosity is rejected, as living according to one's values is important and accepting boundaries prevents unnecessary stress.
16 Articles
16 Articles
Asking Eric: Am I doing a bad job inviting people, or do they just not want to show up?
Dear Eric: I have two friends with whom I frequently engage in trekking; we always have great chats and fun. But I noticed when offering an invitation to come stay in our holiday home, approximately two hours’ drive away, the replies were quite muted or passive but polite. Responding with their absence of enthusiasm left the moment “hanging.”
Asking Eric: Friends enjoy spending time outdoors but don’t latch on to indoor plans
Dear Eric: I have two friends with whom I frequently engage in trekking; we always have great chats and fun. But I noticed when offering an invitation to come stay in our holiday home, approximately two hours’ drive away, the replies were quite muted or passive but polite. Responding with their absence of enthusiasm left the moment “hanging.”Another separate friend feels I should be more specific in setting out the dates or weekends I’m offering…
Asking Eric: My trekking friends refuse invitations to stay at my home and I don’t know why
DEAR ERIC: I have two friends with whom I frequently engage in trekking; we always have great chats and fun. But I noticed when offering an invitation to come stay in our holiday home, approximately two hours’ drive away, the replies were quite muted or passive but polite. Responding with their absence of enthusiasm left the moment “hanging.”
Denver Post
Asking Eric: Friends only want to socialize outside, not at home
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas answers his readers' questions in this March 28, 2026 edition of Asking Eric.
Montana Standard
Friends only want to socialize outside, not at home
Dear Eric: I have two friends with whom I frequently engage in trekking; we always have great chats and fun. But I noticed when offering an invitation to come stay in our holiday home, approximately two hours' drive away, the…
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