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[Satire] SATIRE NEWS: Corporate Security Detail Not Sure Why They Guarding Crock-Pot CEO – U-S-NEWS.COM

Summary by U-S-NEWS.COM
NEOSHO, MO—Confused by the sudden directive to “neutralize any threats” to the leader of the popular kitchen appliance brand, corporate security officer Tim Mulrooney was reportedly unsure Wednesday why he had been assigned to guard the CEO of Crock-Pot. “A person from the company called in a panic last week and said the CEO needed to ‘beef up’ his security detail, but when we asked what sorts of threats he was facing, they just kept saying he’d…
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