US EditionAsking Eric: How Can I Avoid Sending Tactless Holiday Greetings to Friends Who Dealt with Losses This Year?
A dessert favor request for a bridal shower caused resentment among in-laws after lemon bars were provided, highlighting family tensions during event preparations.
- A reader wrote to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas seeking guidance about an in‑law dispute in a 'Dear Eric' letter.
- The daughter‑in‑law's mother asked the letter writer's girlfriend to provide dessert for another daughter's bridal shower, creating an expectation of a favor at the family event.
- The girlfriend made a tray of lemon bars, complying with the request and describing it as not a huge undertaking for her.
- Relations between in‑laws became strained after the request, as the baking favor produced resentment among relatives and centered on expectations about providing food at family events.
- The Dear Eric column positions the quarrel within broader wedding‑planning and etiquette debates, highlighting recurring disputes about favors and obligations during weddings.
25 Articles
25 Articles
Asking Eric: It seems perverse to wish a joyous holiday to people who are grieving
DEAR ERIC: As we approach the holidays, I am faced with a dilemma. A few individuals on my Christmas card list suffered the devastating loss of a spouse in the past couple of years. It seems perverse to send a card wishing them a joyous holiday as I know that they are grieving. I wonder if you have any suggestions for how to send tactful and respectful holiday greetings to these individuals.
Asking Eric: Is it ‘perverse’ to send a Christmas card under these circumstances?
Dear Eric: As we approach the holidays, I am faced with a dilemma. A few individuals on my Christmas card list suffered the devastating loss of a spouse in the past couple of years. It seems perverse to send a card wishing them a joyous holiday as I know that they are grieving. I wonder if you have any suggestions for how to send tactful and respectful holiday greetings to these individuals.
Asking Eric: My girlfriend was asked to bake for a bridal shower but didn’t get invited
Dear Eric: My daughter-in-law’s mother asked my girlfriend to make a dessert for another daughter’s bridal shower. My girlfriend made a tray of lemon bars, so it wasn’t a huge undertaking for her.The issue is that my girlfriend was not invited to the shower. She never charges people for when she makes desserts since she loves to bake. Are we being too sensitive because she did not receive an invitation, but was asked to provide dessert? – Take A…
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