Asking Eric: I’m Afraid My Alcoholic Son Will Ruin My Father’s Funeral. Can I Tell Him Not to Come?
A retired social worker worries her 45-year-old son may be drunk and disruptive at the funeral after relapsing and being hospitalized for alcoholism.
- After her father recently passed from dementia, a parent confronts a painful dilemma: excluding her 45-year-old son from the funeral because she fears he will arrive drunk and uncontrollable.
- The son's struggle with addiction runs deep: after nearly two years sober, he relapsed a few weeks ago when he learned his grandfather was dying and remains hospitalized with alcohol complications.
- Expressing heartbreak over her father's death and son's addiction simultaneously, the parent states she is "swimming in an ocean of sadness with no life jacket" while she and her husband have exhausted their efforts to help.
- Columnist Eric Thomas recommended the parent communicate directly with her son about concerns and propose solutions, including a private commemoration at a meaningful location, early viewing with her husband's support, or involving his recovery sponsor.
- Recognizing that grief becomes more isolating when layered with addiction challenges, Thomas positioned communication and compromise as pathways forward, reframing the son as a participant in solutions rather than solely the problem.
13 Articles
13 Articles
Asking Eric: I’m afraid my alcoholic son will make a scene at my father’s funeral
Dear Eric: My father recently passed after a long battle with dementia. My 45-year-old son who was close to my father is an alcoholic. He was sober for almost two years and then relapsed a few weeks ago after learning my father was close to death.He has mental health issues as well as abusing alcohol and has been in and out of rehab and sober living homes for years. He gets intoxicated and goes on crying jags and completely falls apart.
Denver Post
Asking Eric: Mother doesn’t want son at family funeral because of his drinking
Dear Eric: My father recently passed after a long battle with dementia. My 45-year-old son who was close to my father is an alcoholic. He relapsed after learning my father was close to death.
Asking Eric: Son relapses after grandpa’s death; I can’t juggle supporting him and grieving
Dear Eric: My father recently passed after a long battle with dementia. My 45-year-old son who was close to my father is an alcoholic. He was sober for almost two years and then relapsed a few weeks ago after learning my father was close to death.
The Billings Gazette
St Louis Post-DispatchMother doesn't want alcoholic son at family funeral
Dear Eric: My father recently passed after a long battle with dementia. My 45-year-old son who was close to my father is an alcoholic.
Asking Eric: I don’t want him at the funeral
Dear Eric: My father recently passed after a long battle with dementia. My 45-year-old son who was close to my father is an alcoholic. He was sober for almost two years and then relapsed a few weeks ago after learning my father was close to death.
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