Asking Eric: I’m Too Afraid to Confront My Noisy Downstairs Neighbors
The writer says three years of ignored noise left them anxious about confronting downstairs neighbors, and Eric suggests role-playing the conversation.
- After three years of persistent noise, an upstairs tenant in a two-family rental finally addressed the issue by leaving a letter for downstairs neighbors they rarely spoke to directly.
- Intimidated by the prospect of "rocking the boat," the tenant had delayed confrontation for years due to severe anxiety about requesting a couple of things that would make the house more peaceful.
- Columnist Eric Thomas suggests that when direct communication causes significant distress, tenants might instead ask their landlord to address the issue directly, noting sometimes a conversation simply isn't the best option.
- Although the tenant felt ashamed for waiting three years to act, the letter served as a necessary step to manage the overwhelming noise-related anxiety that had accumulated.
- Rehearsing scenarios with friends or exploring alternative communication methods are recommended strategies for future difficult interactions; Thomas suggests proposing that parties work together to find different ways of communicating.
15 Articles
15 Articles
Asking Eric: My anxiety kept me from asking for what I deserve. How can I overcome that?
Dear Eric: I’ve been having problems with the noise coming from downstairs for more than three years now. I live in a two-family rental. Two much younger women live on the first floor.One of them is completely rude about how much noise she makes. However, I didn’t have a conversation with her about the noise. It took me three years, but I finally wrote a letter, because I rarely speak to them nor they to me (and not by my choice).
Denver Post
Asking Eric: Noisy neighbors are too intimidating to talk to
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas answers his readers' questions in this June 29, 2026 edition of Asking Eric.
Asking Eric: How do I have difficult conversations without suffering myself?
Dear Eric: I’ve been having problems with the noise coming from downstairs for more than three years now. I live in a two-family rental. Two much younger women live on the first floor.
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