News from [SATIRE] The Beaverton
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Doug Ford · OntarioQUEEN'S PARK - In a bid to provide economic relief to struggling Ontarians, Premier Doug Ford has ordered the LCBO to return to providing customers free paper bags - a move that he notes will also double as his affordable housing plan.See the Story
Ford announces LCBO paper bags to double as his affordable housing plan
100% Center coverage: 1 sources
Immigration · CanadaMARKHAM, ON - As housing unaffordability rages out of control, the loose coalition of corporate landlords, investment property flippers, Airbnb moguls, REITs, and foreign real estate money launderers held a brief press conference thanking Canadians for training their public outrage solely on immigration.See the Story
Corporations hoarding homes thank Canadians for enthusiastically blaming immigration
100% Center coverage: 1 sources
Justin Trudeau · VaughanVAUGHAN - After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced on Tuesday that he would give an additional six billion dollars to the provinces for housing as long as they allow fourplexes to be built, Ontario premier Doug Ford doubled down on his previous refusal to build the four unit structures until someone tells him exactly what they are.See the Story
Ford doubles down on refusal to build fourplexes until someone explains to him what they are
100% Center coverage: 1 sources
Americas · CanadaTORONTO - In response to a growing rash of armed robberies throughout the city, Toronto Police advised Canada’s banks to leave a big pile of money at the door of every branch to avoid being robbed.See the Story
Toronto Police advise banks to leave big pile of money at the door to avoid being robbed
100% Center coverage: 1 sources
Americas · CanadaTORONTO – Quarantined in his hospital room after contracting a fatal case of measles, little Timothy Bartlet told reporters how glad he was that his parents opted not to vaccinate for fear of giving him autism. “Wow! It sure is hard to die painfully from a totally preventable disease, but I guess it’s better than […]See the Story
Child dying from measles just glad he isn't autistic - The Beaverton
100% Center coverage: 1 sources
Justin Trudeau · CanadaOTTAWA - Pierre Poilievre officially introduced a non-confidence motion against Justin Trudeau’s Liberals today, hoping to topple the ruling party in a snap election because, in the opposition leader's own words, he “Just can’t keep up his current level of rage farming until 2025.”See the Story
Poilievre threatens snap election over carbon tax hike, citing inability to maintain constant rage farming until 2025
100% Center coverage: 1 sources