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The Kid Whisperer: Families are hierarchies, led by adults

Scott Ervin says families need adult leadership because children cannot make decisions or hold authority in the home.

  • Tribune News Service columnist Scott Ervin argues that adults must lead households as hierarchies, contending that parents should direct the family unit instead of attempting to function as equal friends.
  • Because many adults misunderstand the term 'hierarchy,' they often engage in constant negotiations with children, even though children lack the fully formed brains necessary to make sound decisions on their own.
  • Treating family units as equal friendships is 'horribly unhealthy' and 'wrong,' Ervin claims, as it creates confusion and leads to unnecessary suffering rather than fostering the stability children require.
  • Families are not merely groups of friends who happen to be related; they require adult authority because children lack the maturity and wisdom to manage household status and life decisions.
  • While the word 'hierarchy' may conjure negative images of parents dictating rules, Ervin asserts that establishing this structure is essential for parents to effectively manage nearly all decisions for their children.
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Winona Daily NewsWinona Daily News
+11 Reposted by 11 other sources
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The Kid Whisperer: Families are hierarchies, led by adults

What a strange world we live in that I have to make the point that adults are the heads of their households. The evidence for the apparent need for this clarification is all around us. So many parents seem to…

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  • 92% of the sources are Center
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Helena Independent Record broke the news in Helena, United States on Tuesday, November 3, 2026.
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