Psychology says people who apologise for taking up space in a conversation, in a photo, in a family group chat, aren't humble, they learned early that being noticed came with a cost they couldn't always afford

Psychology says people who apologise for taking up space in a conversation, in a photo, in a family group chat, aren't humble, they learned early that being noticed came with a cost they couldn't always afford

The reflex is small enough to miss. Someone sends a long message in the family chat and adds an apology at the end for its length. Someone edges into a group photo while apologizing repeatedly as they find a spot. Someone offers an opinion in a meeting and prefaces it with a self-deprecating qualifier. None of these apologies are for anything. They are apologies for existing in the frame. We tend to read this as modesty. Sometimes it is. More of…