Asking Eric: Adopted Daughter’s Birth Grandmother Has Questions
The adoptive parents say the grandmother is grieving and wants a fuller account as they weigh whether to correct a mistaken belief.
- A parent who adopted their child at one week old faces a dilemma as the biological grandmother repeatedly requests the adoption story, seeking connection through the narrative.
- The birth mother arrived at the hospital on drugs without a plan for the baby, then died of a drug overdose shortly thereafter, having signed away her rights.
- Believing her daughter intentionally chose the adoptive parents, the grandmother often requests the story to process her grief, while the parent cannot bear to tell her the truth but refuses to lie.
- Dear Eric advises the parent to tell the grandmother the truth as they understand it, noting that the grandmother uses selected facts to process and survive her grief.
- By sharing the truth, the parent can maintain the connection while allowing the grandmother to integrate the reality of her daughter's life into a more healing narrative.
16 Articles
16 Articles
Montana Standard
Adopted daughter's birth grandmother has questions
Dear Eric: I really enjoy your column and could use some advice on tact and kindness. My spouse and I adopted our child when she was about one week old. Her birth mother arrived at the hospital on drugs and…
Asking Eric: My child’s grandmother loves to hear her adoption story, even if it’s a bit off
Dear Eric: I really enjoy your column and could use some advice on tact and kindness. My spouse and I adopted our child when she was about one week old. Her birth mother arrived at the hospital on drugs and without any plan for the baby. She signed away her rights but took no part in selecting us to be our child’s parents.An adoption agency selected us after the birth, and we jumped at the opportunity. The birth mother died of a drug overdose sh…
Denver Post
Asking Eric: Adopted daughter’s birth grandmother has questions
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas answers his readers' questions in this May 9, 2026 edition of Asking Eric.
Asking Eric: Should I tell our adopted child’s biological grandma the truth about how we became her parents?
Dear Eric: I really enjoy your column and could use some advice on tact and kindness. My spouse and I adopted our child when she was about one week old. Her birth mother arrived at the hospital on drugs and without any plan for the baby. She signed away her rights but took no part in selecting us to be our child’s parents.
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