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Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter

Summary by [SATIRE] The Unger Review
GOSHEN, IN Area man Moses Schwartzentruber has led a large group of Mennonites off of Twitter in search of bluer skies. The exodus began after pleading with Pharoah Elon to stop being such an ass hat. “Let my people go,” pleaded Schwarzentruber. “Fine, if you’re not going to smarten up around here, we’re going elsewhere.” Among the requests was a proposal to stop posting ignorant memes and conspiracy theories. “But he ignored our pleas,” said Sc…
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