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Dear Abby: After 20 Years of Marriage, Husband Is a Virgin

The man says his wife has never wanted sex and that he is considering divorce after nearly 20 years of marriage, Dear Abby said.

  • A 59-year-old married virgin male wrote to Abby seeking advice about his marriage of nearly 20 years, during which his wife has never shown any interest in sex.
  • The writer's wife believes it is the man's job to initiate sex, though he feels he cannot continue without a sex life and is ready to divorce.
  • Others have told the writer his wife will never be interested in intimacy, deepening his despair as he refuses to spend his remaining life without a sex life.
  • Abby questioned whether he has tried to initiate sex and advised asking his wife directly if she will ever be willing to take that step with him.
  • It is not the "job" of one partner to initiate, Abby noted, adding that ending the relationship is acceptable if intimate needs remain unmet.
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11 Articles

The Herald-DispatchThe Herald-Dispatch
+6 Reposted by 6 other sources
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Dear Abby: Twenty years married and still a virgin

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 59-year-old married virgin male. My wife has an IUD for medical reasons. She thinks it’s the man’s job to initiate sex. She has never shown any interest in sex in nearly 20 years of marriage. I…

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Charleston Gazette-Mail broke the news in Charleston, United States on Wednesday, November 11, 2026.
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